If you try to please everyone, you will always disappoint someone. Not very motivating right? I happen to be a huge contender for people pleasing and to top it all off, my worst nightmare is letting people down. Mind you, if the decisions I make only affect myself, that’s one thing. It’s easier for me to let myself down because I am in control of how I view myself. However, if the decisions I make have the potential to let another person down, I base my decisions around avoiding that outcome at all costs. Because the one thing I can’t control is another person’s perception of me. I feel like “since they asked for my help, it’s now my responsibility,” when in reality, the task is only my responsibility if I accepted it. Which results in me being a people pleaser who doesn’t take care of herself because she’s too worried about everyone else’s needs.
If you bite off more than you can chew, if you take on too many responsibilities, they will eventually overlap and leave someone, if not everyone, disappointed. For example, my boyfriend and I are both people pleasers which gets us in trouble with our relationship. We understand one another's point of view when it comes to helping people, so we put others needs above our own relationship. It results in long periods of time away from each other and we’ve recognized the fact that our personalities are similar in that way and we have to work harder than most at saying no to others so that we can intentionally say yes to each other. Because my biggest fear is not only letting other people down, but letting the people I love most down because I’m too busy filling up my schedule.
My advice? Prioritize what you say yes to. Prioritize anything that aligns with your dreams, your family, or your job. Things that will advance you in life when you assist others in advancing themselves. You don’t want to give so much that you come home empty, with no time or energy for your family or yourself. Burn out isn’t fun, and it’s hard to not feel it when you say yes to things that don’t feed your dreams, mind or soul.
Is it hard for you to say no when someone asks you for help? To lessen the blow, offer other solutions or personal recommendations for other people who might be more up to the task. Be completely honest and share with them that you don’t have the time right now, not as an excuse, but to let them know that you’d like to help them but you simply can’t at the moment. This is why offering a counter-solution is more helpful, because you’re not leaving them hanging.
I hope this #MondayMotivation helps you come to a conclusion as to what is most important in your life at the moment, and that you don’t feel the blow of burn out anymore. Here’s to an amazing week ahead 🥂