Everyone goes through rough moments in their lives. Everyone goes through change. Everyone goes through periods of uncertainty. Likewise, every influencer has had moments of transparency to just sit down and talk (or write) about the rough moments. So, I’m going to be real with you because I consider you all my personal friends who deserve an explanation as to why the posting, encouragement, the communication has paused for a moment. This has not by any means been an alarmingly long hiatus and I recognize that I’m a small-audience blogger at this point, but I know there are number of you who have wondered what the heck is going on with me.
I am currently near twenty years of age, and my desire since I turned sixteen has been to live on my own. Not with a roommate, not with a husband (yet)…on my own. I have always felt drawn to a lifestyle of individuality and independence. My family is amazing and I adore every moment living with them, but there’s always been a curious part of me that wishes to leave the nest, explore and learn on my own what life is really like, and how I would act if I didn’t have my parents around to help me 24/7. It’s only a natural longing at a certain point in life. However, I always thought this desire would be fulfilled near the end of my college years. Not now.
But God certainly never latches on to the plans you’ve set for yourself, He may know the desires of your heart, but He also knows what’s best for you.
The past couple of months have been a rollercoaster of uncertainty, waiting, and needless to say I have been an emotional and unfocused wreck through it all. So I’m just going to get to the point…my Dad’s job has relocated him, my family, to work in another state and I’m staying in my home town.
This means 2 things:
a) My family (who has never lived outside of our hometown) will be packing up and moving to a completely different state, and SOON. New experiences; exciting and terrifying all in one for both ends of the spectrum. That’s right, kids, I’m staying where I am as they depart to their new life adventure.
b) No, they are not abandoning me. I have a life here now, and although this change is rapid and messy, it can also be an exciting next step for my life. Staying put is my choice, though it might be easier on me if I followed my family, I truly feel I need to stay. This relocation process could be the push I need to get myself on the right track in my career, and to jumpstart my individual life. Just because I’m staying put, doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. This is a new adventure for myself as well, due to the fact that I’ve never lived anywhere without my immediate family before.
I will officially be #Adulting.
So many thoughts have been racing through my head that sweep the peace out from beneath me. I’m only nineteen, I can’t do this. Or can I?
Yes I’m young, but I am fully capable of taking care of myself. It will just take some time.
These past few months we have been doing a dance between “we’re definitely moving” and “we are absolutely not moving.” Dancing gets exhausting after a while. Once we finally received confirmation, we kicked the process into high gear. With that being said I’ve been extremely busy attempting to pack, organize, and help stage our house which has hindered my performance as a blogger, friend, and encourager.
So what’s my plan (realistically) as of right now?
Right now I will be staying with my wonderful grandparents, saving money, and attempting to work my butt off to be able to get my own apartment and fulfill the dream of my sixteen-year-old self. I’m prepared to do what it takes.
I’m trying to stay as positive through this transition as I can, but there are hard days, stress-filled days, and days of uncertainty. I’m excited for what’s to come in the days ahead, change is never easy, but this is just another one of life's great adventures. I am happy to bring you along this journey with me, as we learn and grow together.
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