Why “I Love You” is the Last Thing I Need to Say

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I have the tendency to over-communicate the love I have toward my parents and siblings. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always excessively told my family “I love you.” I also have a habit of narrating my life when I’m at home so my family knows where I am at all times. So, a typical exchange would go as follows: Me, yelling off into nothingness to my family members who are evenly dispersed throughout the house, “I’m going to go downstairs and work on my music”

My family, bless their hearts, “Okay (thanks for sharing?)”

Me, always needing to leave the conversation this way, “Okay love you!”

Some families don’t talk to each other when they’re at home. Some families have conversations around the dinner table about what they did that day. I personally enjoy giving them the full experience by narrating my life as it’s occurring. I don’t know why I feel as though I need to share every time I use the restroom or head up to my bedroom to read or tell everyone that I’m going to do my laundry. It just kind of happens. I’ve done it ever since I was a kid. Maybe it was just so my parents didn’t think I got kidnapped or run away, as kind of a heads up (me being the overcommunicator that I am) and every time I leave the room for any reason, anytime I will be even the slightest bit out of vocal range I always exit with a clear “I love you.” This has almost become such a habit it feels like if I don’t say it I’ll probably have an anxiety attack (which does happen by the way).

What runs through my mind when I forget to say I love you or leave on a bad note, “what if this was the last time I ever spoke to them? I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I knew that the last conversation I had with them was a screaming match or a frustrating disagreement. What if something unexpected happened and I never saw them again? What if I got into an accident? What if they got into an accident?...”

I recognize that these thoughts are a direct result of anxiety and I try to compensate by telling myself I’m just taking precautions. I’m constantly finding myself “preparing for the worst” to happen. I’ve come to find that my perception of “preparing for the worst” is a direct result of me living out my life as a slave to fear.

[bctt tweet="I’ve come to find that my perception of “preparing for the worst” is a direct result of me living out my life as a slave to fear." username="kenzienorrris"]

It’s okay to think about those you love and it’s okay to make sure they’re okay. But as soon as you start to panic and create these typically unrealistic-hypothetical situations in your mind is when you try to take matters into your own hands and let the fear drive you mad.

T A K E A W A Y S:

1. Let go and let God | He will put the pieces together and if you’re fully trusting in Him, you shouldn’t be worrying.

2. Never go to bed or leave the house angry with another person | You never want the last words you say to someone to be negative, because those words will eat at you until the day you die. The Bible also talks about not going to sleep angry at your spouse.

3. Stop being clingy | I’m guilty of clinginess in a way that makes me anxious all the time (bless my boyfriend’s heart). I worry when I don’t know where the people I love are, I worry when miscommunication occurs, I worry when I don’t hear from someone I love for a long period of time. There are many reasons from my past as to why I am this way, and I won’t get into those reasons right now, but God is doing some serious damage control in my life. But most importantly, I’m letting Him work on me. You can’t ask God to help improve your life if you aren’t willing to let Him.

[bctt tweet="You can’t ask God to help improve your life if you aren’t willing to let Him." username="kenzienorrris"]

4. Say I love you more | I mean, I clearly say it enough *literally says it every time I leave a room in my house,* but sometimes this is just a simple reminder that you’re thinking about someone and checking up on them. Sometimes the people you think should already know you love them, like your spouse or college-bound brother, don’t hear it enough and don’t feel as close to you as they’d like. Always end the phone call with “I love you” and always leave the room with “I love you.” It makes a world of a difference and eventually becomes an intentionally-created healthy habit.

Are YOU a good communicator?

// kenzie

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